As we drove past one of the many ponds in our neighborhood, our son wondered, “How is that tree not falling into the water?” He was referring to a tree living on the edge of the sloped shoreline. My answer was simple. “Its roots.” Hidden under the murky water was a steadfast tangle of roots — the small tree’s anchor. It immediately became metaphoric to me, symbolic of the essence of parenthood. We work tirelessly below the surface, planting the firmest foundation we possibly can for our children. We dig into the proverbial soil to nourish our kids with all they need for growth, development, repair, and stability. Day after…
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Dear Kindergarten Teacher (My Last Letter)
Dear Kindergarten Teacher, Hello. It’s me again. How’s my favorite superhero? I love that summer rewards you with the simplest lesson plan… R-E-C-E-S-S written across several weeks worth of calendar squares. Carefree. Playful. I can hear the exhale. You get to trade ABC’s for Vitamin D, sight words for sightseeing, and circle time for YOU time. It is the perfect perk of your paramount profession. I really hope the livin’ has been easy this summertime. As a new school year approaches, I am sending this letter with a medley of emotions. It is the last letter you will receive from me because SHE is the last kiddo you will receive…
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Your 9th Birthday
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. And today, my beautiful daughter, you are illuminating the skies of life as you glow at high noon — halfway between the dawn and dusk of your childhood. You are turning nine, which in turn leaves only nine years to go. Then our 7-pound, 12-ounce bundle of joy becomes an all-grown-up bundle of adult. So here we are, smack in the middle of you being a kid. Such an AWESOME kid. And I have been afforded the gigantic pleasure of holding onto every little moment with you. Holding you in the wee hours of those…
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Snails on Jetliners
I have the perfect analogy for parenthood — We are snails on jetliners. At full sprint, a garden snail moves about 1.3 centimeters per second. It would take this little mollusk two whole hours to cross a football field. Slow, slow, slow. Parenting can feel like that. One day is pretty much equivalent to eighty million eternities when raising children. We have been afforded life’s most beautiful responsibility, but it is a daily (if not minute-to-minute) test of endurance and patience. I am convinced that early-onset sleep deprivation sets the pace, and we just creep along from there. There is nothing expeditious about toddler tantrums or teenage attitudes or infinity…
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Dear 2020 Kindergarten Teacher
Dear Kindergarten Teacher, Hello again. Some time has passed since I last wrote to you — approximately a hundred eternities if you consider the last few months. I hope this letter finds you well, in every sense of the word. Let me thank you (for the umpteenth time) for nurturing our firstborn’s mind and heart two years ago. Her chair was small, your energy was big, and together you chicka-chicka-boom-boomed through SUCH a fantastic kindergarten year. This momma is forever grateful. When “school-as-we-once-knew-it” came to a grinding halt this spring, I thought about you. I thought about March 12, 2020 being the last date in your classroom’s pocket calendar. I…
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Hindsight is 2020
Today was Graduation Day. While we anticipated pomp and circumstance, a crummy circumstance decided to toss our well-made plans higher than graduation caps in a bustling gymnasium. His plans. Your plans. My plans. Everyone’s plans. Canceled. Revised. Put on hold. It doesn’t take 2020 vision to see that 2020 has tried to tangle our tassels. We have all been affected by this pandemic — some of us mildly inconvenienced, others gravely crushed, and the rest somewhere in between. I’m pretty sure the term “unprecedented” gives us the green light to feel how we feel about it. Exactly 70 days ago, our five-year-old walked out of his preschool classroom for the…
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Upside Down
A week before Brady Shae and Brooks were born, my dad traveled to Florida to help prepare their nurseries. He shopped for supplies, painted walls, hung shelves, and installed chair rails. Then he stayed long enough to meet his new grand babies. I remember the goodbyes feeling extra hard after those special visits. Maybe because of hormones or sleep deprivation, but probably because of love. Fast forward two years, and we were pregnant with baby number three. And sure enough, baby number three needed a nursery too. My heart knew exactly who I wanted to call upon for help, but flights from Heaven simply were not available. My dad passed…
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Our Books
Today is his birthday. But you won’t catch me giving him a birthday card. Nope. I stopped six years ago. You see, the only thing he likes less than tomatoes or bad drivers or the Orlando Magic choking in the fourth quarter… is shopping for a greeting card. So in 2014, we broke up with Hallmark and started something new. We call them our books, and we each have one. Here’s how it works. It’s pretty simple (and pretty genius). When faced with a card-worthy occasion, we write in each other’s book. The end. Valentine’s Day. ✔️Anniversary. ✔️Father’s Day. ✔️Birthday. ✔️Because. ✔️ While I have no qualms about publicly sharing…
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Light in the Darkness
A couple of months ago, as I tucked our first grader into bed, her soft heart posed a hard question — “Are there really bad guys with guns who shoot people?” As those heavy words hung in the air, I felt her innocence hanging there too. Our little girl, clutching her kangaroo and blankie, sought big truth about her world. I had to get this one right. So we talked about good guys. I assured her we are surrounded by good guys — people who help and protect and love. Mommy and daddy are good guys. Our family and friends and neighbors are good guys. Police officers are good guys.…
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Three Gracos
When I look back, I see three Gracos. Bulky, crumb-filled reminders of the road I am currently navigating — motherhood with little kids. Not little in the sense of bottles or diapers or insane sleep deprivation (I already earned that gold star, thank you very much)… but little enough to require five-point harnesses, 5T clothing, and 500% of my energy. As I stare at those [rarely empty] car seats, I inevitably hear the sentimental warning. You know the one. “Enjoy it, momma. It goes so fast.” Then I sigh. Because truth be told, I don’t always enjoy it. Time actually goes painstakingly slooooow when you’re in the thick of littleness.…
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Ten Years
Last weekend, while our village graciously tagged in and loved our babies for a few days, Christopher and I snuck away to celebrate ten years of us. I wanted warm sunshine; he wanted good food. We settled for both. Unfamiliar with the area, my groom reached out to his old buddy for restaurant recommendations — the kind of old buddy you don’t see often enough or talk to often enough, yet your friendship was solidified years ago, so time and space are inconsequential. He offered several must-try options, and an authentic Italian ristorante ultimately scored our dinner reservation. Buon appetito! The cuisine was scrumptious. We indulged. We toasted to ten…
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Screen Time
3h 55m per day. That is the calculated amount of time I have spent on my phone each day this week. Thank you iPhone Screen Time notification — you offer the ultimate gut check. Of course my initial reaction was, “Egads! That is WAY too much time!” followed by Madame Mommy Guilt busting through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man. Is my phone getting more attention than my family? Is screen time replacing quality time?? Do I even know how to connect with my kids for three hours and fifty-five minutes??? How do we get through this thing called life???? Tell me, Prince, tell meeeeeeeee!!!!! Valid freakout. REAL feelings. Maybe…
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Social Media, We Need to Talk.
Social media. I love you. I do. A whole lot. However, we are at a crossroads, and we need to reevaluate our relationship. Update our status, if you will. I think we should see other people. Hear me out, please. I thoroughly enjoy my time with you. You fascinate me. And quite truthfully, I am indebted to you. You have opened the floodgates to valuable, far-reaching connections I otherwise might not have. You have offered ten years’ worth of support and humor and entertainment and interaction. You have provided me with a sounding board and a friendship forum. You are my not-so-private diary and my most creative scrapbook. You are…
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Light
I have this special friend who did this special thing. A few years ago, this special friend presented a request to her buddy in Colorado — someone I have never met; a photographer. She asked him to capture a sunrise. A very specific sunrise. A February 24, 2016 sunrise. This friend knew my story. She knew that one year earlier, the sun rose on my cloudiest day — a day that left me stumbling in an unfamiliar, unwelcome valley. My heart’s broken pieces were scattered in the darkness. Shadows loomed. Yet I quickly discovered… Shadows indicate the presence of light. This February, I want to remember the light — people’s…
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Love Is All We Need
I recently created this sign during my best friend’s 40th birthday party. “If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family.” I’m a quote junkie. Meaningful words nudge me. Going through a tough time? Embarking on a new adventure? Feeling ______? You can bet your bottom dollar I will toss you a famous quote… and the trajectory of your existence will be exponentially inspired. Something like that. Anyway, I made this sign. I chose this quote. The best part? I carried the darn thing onto an airplane. Hello delightful flight attendant, I am [quite literally] going home to love my family, and according…
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Want-Need-Wear-Read
Want. Need. Wear. Read. Maybe you are familiar with this Christmas gift-giving philosophy. Its popularity seems to be gaining speed. Something they want. Something they need. Something to wear. Something to read. Four gifts. THE END. While I consider it brilliant, I acknowledge that some of you are cringing at the thought. The ground ‘neath the Douglas fir void of a sea of presents on Christmas morning??? “You serious Clark?” Or maybe you think four gifts is one too many. After all, the wise men only brought three. Whatever the case may be, can we all agree that our culture seems to start decking the halls WAY before it’s even…
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It’s Halftime
The average American woman can expect to live approximately 80 years. Tomorrow I will be 40. Cue the air horn blast. IT’S HALFTIME. Off to life’s locker room for a mid-game analysis, some electrolytes, and a pep talk. “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16) 14,610 days so far. Four whole decades. That’s a significant chunk of time on this blue and green ball. Hundreds upon thousands of moments woven together, forming the narrative of my life. Something about me — I’m a lyric listener. I appreciate creatively-worded and quotable songs, across all musical genres. “Dear Younger…
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Dear Kindergarten Teacher
Dear Kindergarten Teacher, I have written this letter a hundred times in my head. An ever-evolving mental rough draft, anticipating every detail of a far-off, “someday” reality that now stares me square in the eyes. Kindergarten. Our firstborn. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Hello, my name is Mommy. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Let me just start with — I really hope your summer was adventurous and relaxing and splendid. You sooooo deserve it. Your work is full and tireless, and you fully deserve to be less tired. I hope this summer gave you that… and more. Welcome to a new school…
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Summertime
Summertime. Scooch this way. Sit with me awhile. I have some things to say while you are still very much here. I AM SO FOND OF YOU. You are the season of earlier sunrises and well-into-the-evening sunsets — promising us longer days; giving us a little more time. Sweet summer TIME. You are poolside popsicles and lemonade stands and lightning bugs and sand castles and running barefoot through backyard sprinklers. You are watermelon slices and afternoon naps and baseball games and boat rides and picnics atop checkered blankets. YOU ARE CAREFREE AND VIBRANT AND SWEATY AND HOT AND AWESOME. “Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.” We need easy. Your lazy…
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Never Let Go Of Me
Vacation Bible School started on Monday. And literally out of the clear blue, my emotions tapped me on the shoulder and asked to cut in. A hard swallow. ✔️ Misty eyes. ✔️ A pattering heart. ✔️ All the feelings, all unexpected, all at day-one drop-off, all triggered by a song. I mean, a variety of things could have precipitated this sudden sentimental surge… like how ginormous their extra small t-shirts looked on them — my hair ties pulling the excess fabric into 100% cotton ponytails. Or how our 3-year-old boy bravely walked into an unfamiliar classroom with a quiet confidence, turning back for a reassuring hug and an “I love…