It’s Okay If You’re Not Okay

“Please let me be the first to punch the next person who tells you everything happens for a reason.”

I saw this recently and had to chuckle. Its adversary — “Everything happens for a reason”— has always been my jam. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate a glass half full mentality, right? I’m a gal who tries to throw optimism like confetti. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Lemons = lemonade.

But apparently, there are highly-annoyed individuals ready to sock me in the nose. Ack!

I get it, though. I do.

No one wants to hear Miss Positive Pants celebrate every cloud’s silver lining… when some clouds are in fact dark and gray and gloomy because they suck and they just are.

Life can be cruddy.

Life can be crushing.

Sick children. Missing children. Divorce. Freak accidents. Tumors. Famine. School shootings. Abuse. Funerals.

Life can hurt.

And a well-intentioned quote about “rainbows after rain” is nice and hopeful and possibly even true… but heavy hearts may simply need validation of the heaviness.

It’s okay if you’re not okay.

Tell them that.

Then roll up your pant legs and trudge through the muck and mire alongside them… allowing the mess to be a mess… and offering occasional (or frequent) piggyback rides in lieu of Maya Angelou quotations. (Save those for another time.)

Now let me return to the sentence that threatens to get me KO’d — “Everything happens for a reason.” To be completely honest, I don’t know if everything does. I don’t think we will ever know this side of Heaven. Our minds can make zero sense out of things that make zero sense. But I do believe this beautiful truth awaits us…

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

Hope for the hopeless.

It’s what keeps my glass half full.

[I dedicate this to Gina. Warrior on.]